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My experience of having a hearing impairment and wearing hearing aids

by Jenny Jones

I haven’t always had my hearing aids; I got them when I was 13. I was diagnosed at 7 with a mild hearing loss when I had my tonsils out. I went for several years with no problems then I had really bad ear infections all the time.

I had a lot of time off school as I was ill all the time. My hearing deteriorated, they tried grommets but I still could not hear well. I have had my right ear drum repaired as there was a hole in it. My hearing loss was then determined as sensory rather than conductive. This sensory loss was probably due to having had measles at a younger age.

Having a hearing impairment at this age meant that I had fully developed language. If I had had this impairment at a very young age, it would have made language acquisition difficult. This is one reason why people don’t recognise I have a hearing impairment.

Getting them at 13 was hard. I was paranoid they would affect my image and popularity. I didn’t like wearing them. They took a long time to get used to. Suddenly I could hear things I didn’t know were there, like the humming of the fridge, computer etc, but I don’t really hear them now. It was like relearning to hear. People would laugh at me, make fun of them.

Other people would shout at me, thinking if they shouted I would be able to understand them better, or they would over-mouth things, talk to me like I was a bit simple or a baby.

I am not deaf as I can hear; hearing aids just make sounds louder. They just do not give the sound frequency that you have. When addressing people who have problems with hearing, don’t just call them deaf. Check what they like to be addressed as, if anything! If you must call me something, I’m hearing impaired. Others like the term ‘deaf’ or ‘hard of hearing. But I don’t.

My hearing fluctuates depending on environmental factors and my physical and emotional state. When I get really stressed and unhappy, I can barely hear anything, and because I can’t hear, I get more and more stressed! I also have tinnitus, the annoying ringing in your ears. You get used to it, I suppose, but certain conditions make it worse, eg stress, caffeine, alcohol, chocolate, salt and loud noise. Sometimes, it’s so loud, it blanks out all sound! Some days it’s worse than others, for no apparent reason.

Since being at university, I am receiving the most help I have ever received! It really has made a positive impact on my life; I would just like it if you would read this and consider my point of view.

Hints to help

When talking to me, you need to be facing me. I can’t tell what you are saying if I can’t see you. Communication is only about 25% words, the rest is non-verbal. I need to see your face so I can look at you to help me tell what you are saying. Standing behind things, facing the wall or walking around makes my life difficult

When in lectures/group discussion, if people are saying things from behind me, I will not hear them. Please repeat what they say before answering them so I know what you are talking about. I might talk over people or call out. Don’t assume I’m rude; – it’s probably because I have not heard them

If reading from notes, adjust your speed as most people read quicker than they speak. It makes it difficult for me to keep up

When doing lectures and seminars, please distribute agenda/notes beforehand. You might not see them as being of benefit, but I do. If I get lost, then I can read the notes. Address me, not my support worker

Don’t speak too quickly! Try not to fidget – I know it’s hard, but this really makes it more difficult for me. Also, if you have a strong accent, a beard or if English is not your first language, I will find it more difficult to understand you. Please be patient

Get my attention before talking, eg tap my shoulder lightly, or flick the light switch

Please don’t stand in very bright light where a shadow will fall on your face. I can’t see you properly. Come on, I’m sure you would want me to see your lovely face!

When walking outside, remember I will find it difficult to hear you with the noise of the traffic, wind etc.

When asking questions, avoid ones which require yes/no answers. Use open-ended ones as this will ensure that you know I have heard the correct things

Use visual clues as well as sound, eg gestures. Keep eye contact and don’t talk to me while you are walking away

When there is a lot of noise, it might be best to move to a quieter location.

 
Things people take for granted

Little things people take for granted like the doorbell, using phones, alarm clocks, people following you, cars behind you, whispers etc – are difficult for people like me. I find it difficult to hear alarm clocks as I don’t wear my hearing aids at night. I have tried a vibrating one but I’m such a deep sleeper, I would sleep through the vibrating and the noise. People would come in to find me jumping up and down with the vibrations fast asleep! If the fire or burglar alarm went off, I would probably sleep through it.

I can’t tell what you are saying if you whisper to me. Phones are another nightmare; often I can’t hear people at the other end. When there is a lot of background noise or background distraction, it’s really hard for me to work out what people are saying and concentrate on the conversation. In group conversations, I find it difficult when there are a lot of people talking at once. I either talk to people on either side of me, shut off or talk over people. Let everyone know who is talking, not just for my sake. I got knocked down by a car once because I did not hear it coming. Even learning to drive, I’ve had difficulties and am relying on visual clues eg when the gear needs changing, if the indicator has not switched off, etc.

Some people just say I choose to hear when and what I want to, but believe me, if I could hear all that you could, I would. Except maybe for that voice that says ‘Can you tidy that room?’ or ‘pick up that mess!’

I don’t hear the television that well and sometimes find a programme or film hard to follow. Sometimes subtitles would be helpful, but I don’t watch a lot of it anyway. Listening to music, mine might be a little louder than yours. I find it very painful going nightclubbing and I worry about my ears getting even more damaged. It also makes my tinnitus worse. So I might not go out as much as the typical student.

Walking in the wind is annoying as the wind catches my hearing aids and that’s all I hear! So I find it hard to walk along and talk as I can’t hear and I can’t always see you. I like to walk to the right of people if we have to walk side-by-side as my left ear (which is the better ear) is closer to you.

Psychological effects

People think once I’m wearing my hearing aids that I’m fine. Well, I’m not! Having a hearing impairment has made me very sensitive about what people think about me. I don’t always understand jokes, or if I get them, it’s not straightaway. I feel embarrassed to admit that I haven’t understood them. I’m nervous when being alone in a house or out and about, especially at night. I have difficulties with accepting constructive criticism. I worry a lot about what others think of me. There are psychological effects to every disability and having a hearing impairment can be a very isolating condition, I often feel left out with people. I may appear confident, but underneath, I ‘m not so confident. I often feel down, and think why can’t I be like others, but I’m me for a reason. You learn to live with it!
Hearing Aids

Some people have asked why pay out all the money for my hearing aids instead of the NHS ones which are free. It’s not just for looks, they are a lot better, often much better quality of sound, etc. If money is not a problem to you, would you get the Tesco Value beans or the Heinz beans? Don’t look at my hearing aids, they are only the same sort of things as glasses; instead of helping people see, they help me hear. They have made my life much better.

It’s not just grannies that wear hearing aids. The typical stereotype of hearing aid users are older people with white hair and walking sticks who shout and need them re-tuning. I’m young! You don’t come across many people like me where I am, doing what I do. I don’t like to be seen differently. At the end of the day, I’m a human being too. Tell me the grapevine news, etc. Treat me the same as you treat others.

 

[Posted October 2007]